Everything I Feel

Break-up

2011-04-06T11:33:00.000-07:00

Everything was going just fine. There were no issues at all. But off late I have been feeling restricted. I needed space. Hence the break-up.

I ditched blogger for wordpress.
My new blog address is www.here2enchant.wordpress.com. Few of my favorite posts are re-posted in my new blog. Here is the FB page for it. Do click on the 'like' button there. :)

Hope my new relationship gives me much more joy and fulfillment.

Adieu, mon cheri!

World Cup India vs SriLanka

2011-04-03T08:53:00.000-07:00

World Cup offer... To celebrate and spread the joy, this offer was extended even after the world cup finals was over. :) :) :) Yay!

Hope. Love. Pray. Mantras for the hour.

2011-03-15T14:14:00.000-07:00

A video. Food packets were thrown from a van… people ran behind it to catch the food packets. They ran like they ran for their lives. There was stampede. After that the video showed an elderly man who was crying. He told ‘Few days back I had all the luxuries in life. Today, I am a beggar. I haven’t eaten for days. I am not able to run behind the vans to get the food packets. Please help.’ That video was during the earthquake at Gujarat. More than 10 years ago. But even today that video haunts me.

So I have been running... running as far as I can from the images of Japan. I guess I was the only person alive who did not look at a video/picture of Japan after the dreaded earthquake. But people spoke to me about the disaster. I could not admit that I am a coward and tell them, “Please, I do not want to hear about it”. So I listened to them and chose to concentrate only on few parts of the information:

The earthquake was registered around 8 in the Richter scale. But the buildings are of Japan are built in such a way that it can withstand earthquakes. People were inside the building, almost safe.

Tsunami ruined everything. The country is seeing such a horrific Tsunami after decades. But the government has evacuated as many people as it can.

Nuclear blast in Japan. Warning was given to evacuate people within 20 kms of the blast. The government and volunteers have evacuated people who were within 16 kms.
I don't even know if all this is true.

In the last few days, I have been looking at pictures of babies, reading happy stories, looking at wedding photos, watching romantic movies, talking to people like never before. It helped me run…

But on FB, a friend of mine was tagged in this picture.

I saw it. I could not run anymore. I broke down. I cried for her. I cried for the girl in her arms. I cried for everyone in Japan. I cried for myself. It has been a many months since I prayed. After seeing that picture, I spoke to God aloud. I pleaded Him and screamed at Him. Asked Him to leave us in peace. It took me sometime to regain my senses.

I am writing this post now directing it at every idiot, senseless fool, brainless moron out there who has been updating things on FB.

Earth is going to end in 2011? Do u people have any sense at all? Evano oruthan kaasu panna padam edutha adha pathuttu moolaiyae illama penathuvingala? Tsunami hit us in 2004. Did the world end in 2005? It is not funny, idiots. If you want, please go ahead and die in 2011. But quit updating such things.

One more update in so many profiles. Saying quit worrying about people in Japan because there are many in the same situation in India! Bloody hell. I mean, do u people have any sense at all? It is not about India or Japan, you fools, its about human beings. Plus, the situation in India is created due to idiots like you and me who let ourselves be exploited by choosing the blood sucking creatures as ruling people. So it our mistake. yours and mine.But people in Japan are suffering for no mistake of theirs. They are in pain, paying back to whatever you and me do to our mother earth. Fine. You are so patriotic? You care so much about India? Then stop updating such things and go see how you can make a change to your fellow countryman's life.

What is all this pessimism about? Please. The earth is facing enough disasters without your pessimism adding on to it. You can't share anything good? You can't spread love or give hope? Then please keep your mouths shut and pray to God to give you some sense.

I am a coward, yes. I can't bear to see pain, yes. But at the same time I can be strong when I have to face pain. Coz I have hope and love. So I am safe. But your pessimism will dig your grave.

Fourteen Days

2011-03-12T10:53:00.000-08:00

"My only son. 24 years old. He is working in the USA", I proudly say to anyone who would listen to my brag.
That is the only part I share with others. There are other parts to it - to him staying a few thousand miles away.

He is our only son. He is our joy and love personified. He said state board to CBSE - we said OK. He said engineering. We said OK. He got recruited through campus placement but he pointed towards America. We said OK. If we had known then how lonely we would feel without him, we would have told a different two letter word.

Every morning, my wife and I take bath, get dressed and we will be ready by sharp 6 A.M. to sit in front of our laptop. To see our son. That is when he gets back home from work. We chat with him for an hour.
Our laptop screen is full of my wife's fingerprints. That is because while we are chatting with our son, my wife keeps touching the screen. I get annoyed and ask her to stop. "That it is the closest I can get to touching my son." she retorts and I shut up. This is a daily scene at home!

He loves the non-vegetarian food my wife cooks. After he left, my wife stopped cooking non-veg.
My daily chores include:

· Cleaning his bike which hasn't been used in the last three years.

· Cleaning his computer that hasn't been switched on in the last three years.

· Cleaning his book racks.

He asked me to sell it off or give it away. But I never get the heart to do it. It’s a piece of him, the only piece of him that is left with us.

When any of his friends come to India, he will send stuff for us. We have preserved everything he has sent us. We look at them every now and then. To some, we seem like a couple-obsessed-with-their-son.

Every night I ask myself why we have to go through this. If we miss him so much, why can't we ask him to come back home. Why does he have to have to stay thousands of miles away from family, friends and home... I go to sleep without finding the answers to my questions

He planned on coming here many times. Something kept coming up and delaying his plan. Finally he is coming in another two days. He has booked the tickets and packed his bags. Ever since his trip got confirmed, my wife has been smiling, making sweets, telling everyone who would listen and also those who wouldn’t listen. And I forgot to add… he is going to be staying for two weeks. Three years of longing… and we get fourteen days with our son!

Ahan!

2010-11-16T10:21:00.000-08:00

I am Sanjay. I have looked at girls, appreciated them... But falling in love with a girl, commitment, relationship - never. Result - I asked my mom to decide the girl I was going to marry. I did not want to look at any 'eligilble' girls' photos nor did I want any of the 'bajji saptu ponnu pakra' business. So I asked my mom to decide. After five months my mom told me that she has found the right girl and her name is Madhu. My mom kept pestering me to go meet the girl and her family. So one fine day I went... To meet the girl and her family.

Tamil movies have taught me what to expect when the guy goes to visit the girl and her family for the first time. It will be - men, chaos, laughter, women in silk saris, noise and lots of food. I thought I will consider myself lucky if I get at least a glimpse of the girl while the entire crowd gapes at me.

What actually happened was -

I got down at this house. It looked peaceful. I knocked at the door and the girl's dad - my mamanar - greeted me. When I stepped inside, I was shocked. There was no one. Absolutely no one. While I was trying to come out of the shock, he asked me to be seated and went inside. He came back with a glass of juice. Mamanar bringing juice - never did a tamil movie have this scene. I realized that I was on my own and the knowledge gained from the Tamil movies was not going to help me. When I was staring inside the glass, wondering what to do next, I heard someone say hi. I looked up to see the girl. I expected the girl to be covered in a sari, wearing every piece of jewelery she had. But there she was standing... In a purple salwar. She was wearing an almost invisible chain with a pendant like a rain drop. Her dad suggested that the two of us, myself and Madhu, go out for lunch. It can't get better than this. :-) Tamil cinema need to learn. During that lunch, I realized how true my mom was when she told me that she had found the 'right girl'.

Everything about Madhu is simple and beautiful. No fireworks. No tingling bells. No glowing bulbs. I fell in love with her gradually and stayed that way for years now. Whoever told that people cannot find love when its arranged marriage... I would like to punch him hard and tell, "Speak for yourself, Idiot".

TADA

2010-10-26T12:35:00.000-07:00

When someone asks me what is the easiest thing to do on earth… I will say it is falling in love. It doesn’t require any time or effort. It just happens… When you are not looking for it!

This post is about random people falling in love at random times. Whenever I mention *TADA*, I want you to picture the person falling in love.

Too much work at office, horrible fight with mom and she was standing in an ATM queue under the scorching sun. Totally it was a bad day for her. So it was only after a while that she noticed the guy in front of her. He had apple for cheeks and almond for eyes. He must be a year old. He was clinging to his mom. She smiled at him. He reached out, touched her cheek and smiled. The smile showed off his dimples. She forgot all about her bad day…. And *TADA*
When she was standing in the balcony, she noticed the auto which stopped opposite her house. A gentleman about 50 years got out of the auto, followed by his wife. The moment they got down, he bent down to adjust the pleats of his wife’s saree. He did not care that it was the middle of a road or that people were watching him. It seemed like all that mattered to him was that his wife should look perfect. The girl standing in the balcony saw the love between and the couple… And *TADA*
He was walking on a deserted street. He felt lonely. Sometime later, he sensed that someone was following him. He turned to find this dog standing behind him. He walked... The dog walked. He stopped… The dog stopped. He stared at the dog… It looked at him with puppy eyes. He ordered the dog to leave him alone. It stood there, wagging its tail, making it clear that it is not going to leave him alone… He smiled. *TADA*
She was walking alongside her friend in the crowded streets of pondy bazaar. Among the hundreds walking on that street, she spotted one guy walking towards her. He was wearing a grey tee shirt and a brilliant smile. She couldn’t take her eyes off him… He was not this great looking guy. But something about him made her want to keep looking at him forever. She was thunderstruck and felt stupid… He crossed her. She turned to look at him. He kept walking without turning back… It seemed like he did not notice her. She asked herself to stop being stupid. She ordered herself to keep walking. But she turned. And… he turned, looked at her and smiled. *TADA*
A page from his diary – ‘I was nervous, scared, anxious, happy… All at the same time. The doctor came out and broke the suspense – ‘It is a girl’. He informed that my wife and my baby were in the room. I opened the door without making any noise and stepped inside. The two most important women in my life were asleep. I looked inside the crib. She had my nose and her mom’s hair colour. She yawned and I fell in love’. *TADA*

It is not complicated. It is not just about a guy-going-behind-girl. It is happiness. It brings joy to your life like nothing else. Open your heart, fall in love and make the most of this life. :-)

The Human Dracula

2010-06-27T02:12:00.000-07:00

I am the elder brother of an all-time-annoying girl. Our parents named her Madhu. But Dracula suits her better.

I have been demanding a temple for me coz I managed to survive her torture for twenty four years!!

I have never been the bully type… So our mom and dad were shocked when I was suspended from school for breaking a boy’s nose. Madhu was in third grade then. One day she came to my class crying. Between her huge sobs, she explained to me that a guy teased her about her broken tooth. I guess that did it! I do not know what got into me… I rushed to that guy’s class and gave him one hard punch on his face and smiled at my sis’ beaming face. :-)

She is now married. I never pardoned my brother-in-law for luring my kid sister into falling in love with him and marrying him. They have an angel for a daughter. :-) That doesn’t mean my sis has become any less of a Dracula.

All her life she has tried everything humanly possible to be a pain in my ass. Very rarely, unintentionally, she has been this complete sweetheart. So this post is divided into two parts:

Here goes the pain in my ass part…

She will enter the bathroom. The next minute she will scream and bring the roof down. Why? It will be because of either a scared cockroach or a just-born lizard.

She will torture me to get a bandage for her saying she got hurt. Believe me; you will need a microscope to have a clear look at the wound. It will be THAT tiny. But she will clean it with dettol and smooth a bandage over it every single day… This will be a routine for the next one week.

All I have to do is look at a girl in school and the next minute my mom, dad, paati, and thatha will be updated with the information.

My mom gave us two cupboards to keep our things. Those had eight racks totally. Out of which she will use seven racks. And my clothes will be dumped in one rack… actually in a portion of that rack. The other portion was for her hand bags! She stays with her husband now… but still manages to use the seven and half racks.

We used to share a room. Every time we renovate our home, she will make sure that our room is painted pink. How anyone can think pink looks beautiful is beyond me…

She will not let me watch my favorite program on TV saying there is something that she needs to watch. And that something will be one of those sentimental movies which she would have already watched a million times. She will cry all through the movie even if she was watching it for the millionth time…

When I take her on my bike, she will scream saying I am riding too fast. And the speedometer will show 30 kmph.

And now the complete sweetheart part…

She has always been very proud of me. Even when I did not believe in myself, she has stood by me and told me that I will be able to do it.

When we were kids, she had written this list with the title ‘My brother is stronger and cooler than superman’. That list is something I will treasure all my life.

She is the best critic. Any new tee shirt, coolers, hairstyle… She will tell me right away whether it looks great, good, bad or terrible. And not one has her judgment been wrong.

Even when I achieve something very trivial, she will rejoice it. And she will make sure that the entire world knows about my success.

She makes the world’s yummiest cookies for me.

She was the one who will secretly let me in when I used to get back home late night totally drunk.

When there used to be fights at home, she will be the one I hold on to.

A man should have a sister… To love, to protect, to tease, to fight with, finally, to understand, appreciate and respect the fairer sex.

P.S: This post is dedicated to Jai and Mukund :-)

The Selfless Soul

2010-03-18T14:08:00.000-07:00

She got married when she was seventeen and had a baby when she was eighteen. She was no more than a kid… But she embraced the difficulties of pregnancy with such grace that it astonished the people around her.

She was this girl whose roots were pulled out of a small village and planted in one of the metro cities. The roots struggled to breathe… But she wouldn’t give up.

‘English’ scared her. She did not know a word of that language. But she fought – she made sure that her daughters were good at the alien language.

The little world she knew was full of illusion. She did not know what to trust and what not to. But she wouldn’t let the world corner her, no matter what. She fought the illusion.

The world is so cruel – she was asked to walk all alone. The girl from the village with very little education… Everyone expected her to go running to her parents. But she wouldn’t. She has too much ego for it… Of course the huge buildings, the decked up people, the fashion and the style scared her. But she just couldn’t let all of that bury her. She fought the cruel world, tamed it and made it her home.

The path she was asked to take was filled with monsters, misery and hurdles. She killed the monsters, survived the hurdles and stayed happy throughout.

She never let her babies see her pain. Everything she was denied, she made sure her daughters had. Her kids celebrate her and worship her.

She has fought battles bigger and harder than any world war. She has gone through what a human being is not supposed to go through. She has been betrayed, bruised and hurt. But you can never see hate in her eyes. All she has to offer this world is love.

She enchants. Gives hope. Spreads love…

P.S: I dedicate this post to the bravest woman I have ever known – My Mother. And also to every woman I have come across in my life… They are this world’s wonders.

The angel in my life

2010-02-09T11:30:00.000-08:00

People used to call me as the tough guy.

But now...
I know how to dress up a barbie.
PINK is the colour I look for in anything I buy.
Cindrella, Beauty and the Beast, Sleeping Beauty - You name the fairy tale, I will tell you the story.

The list will go on forever... about how the tough guy lost all his toughness. Why? Its for a beautiful reason - My lil' daughter.

I sill remember the first time I held her, she was all pink and tiny. She looked deep into my eyes and did something very close to a smile. That moment I declared myself as the luckiest man on earth.

We named her Shruthi. She is three years old now.

When I found the love of my life, I was sure that I couldn't love any woman more. But I was proven wrong. Here is this tiny woman who sweeps my heart away effortlessly. All it takes for her is to do the show-bunny-teeth grin, and I fall in love with her all over again. It's magic.

In the last three years I have not done anything wrong, disrespectful, bad or unlawful. It is because of my daughter. I want her to be proud of her dad. I am trying my level best for that.

She is a wonder. When that pair of little innocent eyes look at me with complete faith and trust, I have no choice but to work harder to be a better man.

Shruthi and I play hide and seek. Every single time we play it, there is only one place where she will hide. It is behind a teddy bear. I have to pretend for at least ten minutes like I do not know where she is hiding and at last find her. Once I find her, she will burst out laughing and come hug me. We have been playing it for two yeras now. Believe me, just for her laughter and the hug, I can play it million more times and not be bored even once.

In case I am around when she is eating something, she will feed me and only then eat. My wife gets irritated whenever Shruthi does this. It is because Shruthi has never shared her food with her mom. :) :) :) Ha... What can i say! I am a blessed soul!

Shruthi fell sick. I just couldn't get any sleep for 3 days. My wife got mad at me coz I kept fussing over Shruthi. She tried explaining to me that it was natural for kids to fall sick and that they will recover. But I lost all my reasoning power... Terrible days! By the way, are all mothers born with the talent to keep everything under control? I thoroughly admired my wife those days... She managed to take care of two kids then. One is Shruthi and the other is me.

We were renovating our home recently. One of those days, Shruthi was missing for sometime. I went to check on her. When I found her, I couldn't stop laughing looking at what she was doing. She had lined up three kids, all of them elder to her. And she had painted all of them using the paint we were using for the walls. When she heard me laughing, she turned around and grinned at me! Like father, like daughter. A complete brat!

She doesn't go to bed until I get back home and play with her for sometime. Every morining she hits me with pillows to wake me up, waking up has never before been this pleasureable. She bombards me with questions because she believes that I am the most brilliant human being on earth. I am reading everything I can possibly lay my hands on coz I do not want to damage her image of her dad! :) When there is thunder, she holds me tight and tells me not to be scared. No matter how many times I witness it, I can never get used to her tears. Everytime it breaks my heart when I see her cry. My world revolves around her. She makes me wonder how I managed to play a part in creating something so impeccable!

She has changed me. She has softened me. All through the years, she has given me nothing but happiness.

For all the good deeds I do, I ask only one thing in return from God. That is to keep my daughter safe.

Better late than never

2010-02-08T10:13:00.000-08:00

2010

Get trained in a form of dance
Save more
Spend less
Buy a camera
Travel as much as possible
Go to a beauty parlour at least twice a month
Accompany mom for all th weddings
Clean my room every week
Spend the week-ends usefully (cook, paint, etc...)

I ll keep adding to the list! :)

The Mysterious Guy

2010-02-05T12:55:00.000-08:00

My dream. The one I had a year or two ago… Whatever I remember of it, I am going to write it down. I remember this dream because when I woke up from the dream, I was blissfully happy. I wanted to remember the thing which made me happy… I recollected the dream. I told it to myself at least five times while I still did not get up from my bed.

Here it goes…

Karthika and I are walking back home late at night. There is this guy sitting all alone on the pavement. I could sense that he is smiling at me even when he is far away from me. My heart is waging a war trying to decide whether to run to him or run away from him. At last I reach him. And he says ‘Hi Pavithra… I have been waiting for you for a long time’. His smiles at me and the smile I returned came effortlessly. He joins us and the three of us start walking. We (the mysterious guy and I) leave Karthika at her place. After that he takes me to this lovely restaurant I never knew existed. We talk over dinner. He knows everything about me. Everything I like and everything I do not like. He asks why I took so long to come. All his words make perfect sense to me. He knows I love night life. He makes me spend the entire night with him. We sit on Mount road and sing aloud. We walk miles. He makes me smile. He makes me laugh. We play silly games. Before we know it, it is morning. I take him home. My mom seems to know him. He gives me this mysterious smile………… And I wake up.

Times Change

2010-02-05T11:59:00.000-08:00

Me n my friend

Six years ago... I met him in my french class. The person I meet before every French class during week-end. We were the pair who went to class well before time. I was scared to talk to him in the beginning; he seemed like the no-non-sense type… And I am nothing but non-sense. So I hesitated. Days passed and we became friends. I always admired the way he explained things… When I see it, everything will seem complicated. But when he explains it, I will wonder why I thought it was complicated. I admired the way he did that.

French class came to an end.

Those were the days when both of us did not have a mobile. But we managed to stay in touch. It was an implied routine. I call him one weekend and he will call me the next. I used to look forward to it. We talk about everything we did during the week. Talking to him was a pleasure. I was a going to finish school and he was going to finish college then.

We did not expect anything from each other. He accepted me the way I was. I liked him the way he was.

He was my friend, a very good friend. He let me be stupid with him. With him, I can talk about anything under the sun. He will listen no matter how stupid, foolish, idiotic those things were… Sometimes he used to take the role of a mentor, a well wisher... Even when I drove him over his level of patience, he used to bear with me. I never hesitated to tell anything to him.

I used to rejoice every little success in my life. He will hardly even mention his victories. I have always wondered why. I got the answer now. His goals were set high. In the process of working towards his goals, the little victories blurred.

He explored the world. He fed his thirst for knowledge well. We started talking again after a long break. Our conversations seemed different. May be because he was more matured or because I was still too kiddish. I had a feeling that he started expecting things from me. He wanted me to be broad-minded. He wanted me to expand my knowledge. He called me 'narow-minded'. I started feeling that I fell short of his expectations and I used to hate that feeling, I still do. I restricted my world to my family, my friends and my acquaintances. He did not appreciate it. He wanted me to learn many things which I am sure he would have known I would never do. But he never stopped trying. Days passed and i found it hard to talk to him for the fear that he would think I am stupid. I was scared that he wouldn't like me the way I was. So I did not even initiate a conversation.

He was a guy with whom I shared everything. Hours were too few to talk to him then. But now even minutes seem a lot when we chat... I like the guy the same way I did many years back. But we have changed. Times have changed.

The lovely friendship we shared is a memory now... Netither of us can be blamed.

Another post about me!

2010-02-05T11:21:00.000-08:00

It has been many days since I wrote a post.

What have I been doing all these days? I was trying to change myself all these days. Why? I do not know as to why I was trying to change myself. One thing led to another, one word let to another thought and the result was that I wanted to change myself. I wanted to become this serious, organized girl who has her life planned and laid out in front of her (I forbid people from laughing at this idea). I was serious about the change.

When someone asks me what I was going to do next, I wanted to list down at least ten things. Throughout my life the answer I have been giving is ‘Err.. Well… Its.. Actually.. I have no clue’. I wanted to change that. Believe me. I tried… The result is that my life during the past few days has been miserable.

I write long emails
I cry watching sentimental movies
I love pani poori
I hate popcorn
I walk for hours in pondy bazaar streets watching the colors
I hug and kiss my mom while we are walking on a road
I hate shopping
I love dogs
I like to LOVE
I read books for hours together
I don’t shy away at the mention of romance
I dance and sing when I feel like
I love junk food
I do not drink or smoke
I like fantasy and magic
I am all this and much more. Just the way my name belongs to me, my stupidity, kiddishness and insanity belongs to me. I make people happy. I make them smile. When I bid good-bye to all this, I bid good-bye to my happiness. I wouldn’t try that again. Never.

Sravani's song

2010-01-20T09:34:00.000-08:00

Sravani, a friend of mine, wrote a song... no... err.. a poem... no not a poem.. a rhyme...

Here it goes...

Hey you!
Do you have a clue?
I went to the loo...
It was all so blue.
Three of us waiting for you!
Hey you! Hey you! Hey you!

Safekeeping

2010-01-13T13:57:00.000-08:00

This is how my blog looked until 01/13/2010.

Samyukta fell in love with Rishi

2009-11-30T12:10:00.000-08:00

I, Samyukta, fell in love with Rishi. When? Not once or twice but a lot of times. I fell in love with him over and over again. Thats when I realized that I will never be able to get over this guy. Today I realize that it was meant to be... Ten years of 'blissfully-married-to-him' is the proof! :)

Today I want to list down few of the many instances when I fell in love with my husband.

<3 I stayed at his home. He was staring at me for a long time. I asked if everything was alright.. He told me, "You have come to my home for the first time, you should look alien here. With your hair down, you should look like a witch. You are wearing my shirt, it should look oversize on you. BUT. The moment you entered my home, it seemed like it was no more mine but ours. With your hair down, you look breathtakingly gorgeous. And my shirt looks just perfect on you. So the conclusion is I am insanely-in-love with you" I smiled. I couldn't bring myself to utter any word. :)

<3 We (him, my friends, his friends and I) went on a trip. We left on a Friday night. All of us had a long week so we wanted to sleep like logs in the train through the ten hours journey. Before going to sleep, all of us were chatting. I felt sleepy so I laid my head in his lap. I fell asleep. I woke up after 10 hours (as planned) and found that my head hadn't moved a bit from where I laid it. I had no clue that he (my stupid lover boy) would sacrifice his sleep just because I had fallen asleep on his lap. He told, "You were sleeping peacefully like a baby. I din't have the heart to wake you up. This trip is worth everything just coz it gave me ten hours for looking at you without being disturbed." I scolded him saying he was acting stupid, he had gone mad so on and so forth... But the moment I woke up and saw him holding me, I fell irrevocably in love.

<3 I fell sick. He was staying at a hostel which was occupied only by guys. He asked me to stay with him because there was no one to take care of me in my hostel. I told that was impossible. There was no way I was going to stay in a place filled with monkeys who call themselves boys. Having told that, I went to college. He din't come to college that day. When I got back to my room that evening, I found my room empty except for a letter. The letter read,
'It pains to let go of you even for a second. Its even worse when you are sick. Come stay with me, princess.
Love,
the guy who emptied your room.
P.S: I promise to make the monkeys behave.'
I could have called him adamant and threw a tantraum. But he had cleaned his room (after three years) just because I was going to stay there. He had put up pretty curtains, clean mattresses and a beautiful lamp. So I pardoned him and let myself be pampered. Little did he know that by doing all this, he took my heart away from me.

<3 My dad had his first heart attack. I went home. He came with me. Things got back to normal. But those two weeks were hell. I wouldn't have survived it if not for him. He din't have any soothing words to say. He din't wipe away my tears. He din't tell any lies to make me feel better. But he was there... Strong and dependable. I never thanked him for what he did those two weeks. Words fell short of what I wanted to express.

<3 He took me to a beach early in the morning. We took our place near the waves. He was abnormally quiet. I held his hand and din't speak a word. I thought something had gone wrong. After two hours he spoke. He said, "Share my name, my home and my life. Have children with me. Lets have a beautiful family and grow old together happily. In simple words, marry me!"

<3 I was mad at him. I wanted to irritate him. So i woke him up by 2:30 am and told I wanted chocolate pastry. I expected him to scold me and go back to sleep. But he opened his eyes slowly, got up and got dressed. He told, "Lets go find out who is insane enough to sell it at this hour. Get dressed, sweets!" I wanted to cry out of frustration. I told him my real motive for waking him up. He laughed hard and held me tight. He took me on a ride and bought me two chocolate pastries. I din't care if I won or lost.

His week-end cooking sessions, the little gifts from him, the sweet-nothings we share, the most wonderful family we cherish, the late night snuggles, the good night kiss, his patience for my never-ending shopping, the car races in which he always manages to get defeated, the midnight rides... My life can't get any better.

I adore him. I know I will stay this crazy about him forever... And grow old together happily!

I am a mean girl

2009-11-24T11:54:00.000-08:00

I had a crush on a guy when I was in 2nd standard. His name is Prabhu. I always wanted to assure myself that he liked me better than anyone else in the class...

One day I got doubts whether he liked 'Akila' more. I wanted to check it. Here is what I did to make sure that he liked me more than he liked Akila...

I ordered Prabhu not to share his new sharpener with Akila. He agreed. After telling him that, I went to Akila and told her that Prabhu has a beautiful sharpener. I told her that she could share it with him, if she wants to. She decided to go and ask him. I was waiting with bated breath to see what was going to happen... My love was at stake. Akila went and asked Prabhu to share his sharpener. And.... Prabhu denied. He told that he cannot share his sharpener with her. Wow.. What a relief! Prabhu was still mine. :) I would have hugged him tight. I din't do that only coz I din't want to scare that innocent guy.

Heaven on earth...

2009-10-30T13:58:00.000-07:00

Athirapally falls....

After going to this place, I know what addiction feels like... The first time I stood in this water, I knew that I was never going to get enough of it. No matter how many times I visit it. I have been there a lot of times now... Still this place makes me crave for it.

You have to wage a war with the water, in case you wish to walk in it... The water is so forceful... The small rocks in the water are very slippery. Well.. When you want the best in life, you can't get it the easy way...

This is heaven... Even after spending hours in it, I will not have the heart to come out of it. I will persuade everyone to stay just a little longer... Atlast when I can not persuade anyone anymore, only then I come out of it.

But after coming out of it... Another pleasure will await you. The yummy kerala food in the small hotels outside the falls... hmmm. Hope I go there again very soon.

Can't blame me...

2009-10-27T14:35:00.000-07:00

I'm a romantic... I do not know whether it is a boon or a bane of my life.

Why am I a romantic? I blame it on Mani Ratnam... Yes, you are right. Film director Mani Ratnam. His movies strongly talks about patriotism, how youth can make a change in Indian politics, the good and the evil in today's world... they dint fail to leave a mark on me. But in this post I am going to mention only about the romance factor in his movies...

How is this man capable of making every single thing in his movie seem picture-perfect?

I list down my most favourite ones...

Mouna Raagam - Tender and magical
The relationship Mohan and Revathi share is tender. The same between Karthik and Divya is magical. The movie portrays a good people's world. Revathi wants to stand by her lost love even after getting married to Mohan. And Mohan understands her completely and gives her the space... After watching the movie, no one could every say which one was better - the spontaneous irrational love or the bond and love created by marriage. Both are equally romantic. :)

Roja

A portion of the film is about how the guy wins over a girl (his wife)... One thing about most of his movies is that all the heroes are gentlemen. :) Such gentlemen that they dont take their wives for granted. Love is earned... Not forced.

Uyirae

wow... Rough romance. Even though this movie has a tragic ending, I totally love it. Sharukh and Manisha are HOTTTTTT together. :)

Kannathil Muthamittal..

The hero is a writer who seems arrogant and egoistic. He never seems to care about anyone's feelings. But he wants to adopt a girl baby... For that he has to get married. So he marries a girl. This doesn't seem right... But Mani Ratnam will not let us think that its wrong. Whether selfish, egoistic or pure... Romance and love can never be questioned in his movies.

Simran looked like a goddess in the movie.

Ayudha Ezhuthu...

Its a small love track... Between Surya and Esha. 'Living Together' is a controversial issue. But Surya puts it in such beautiful words that the concept of 'living together' seems very right when u r in love. And marriage loses its meaning.

Michael/Mike.. I love this name after watching this movie. :)

This post DID NOT help my mood AT ALL... :( I want a guy with all the qualities of Mani Ratnam's heroes :)

Heidi...

2009-10-26T07:31:00.000-07:00

I have never watched any cartoon... They always seemed too artificial to me. I never quite grasped the idea of liking a cartoon. There is one exception... Heidi. I adore that cartoon.. I would stay glued to the television whenever 'Heidi' was telecast.

Heidi was a girl who had gone to stay with her grand-father for a while. Her grand-father lived uphill, in an isolated small house. There were rumours in the village that he was a magician. He always kept to himself. But he was the best grand-father. She starts living with her gandpa. He is a person not used to smiling... But with Heidi around, he could never stop smiling. So the things Heidi did in that isolated place.. The people she met. The mischiefs she did was the story...

Heidi looks sooo pretty. I have always found her happiness very contagious. The way she cries, laughs and plays... So adorable! The way even the most simple things make her happy is really nice to watch. I love her bedroom and the view from her bedroom window.

Heidi, grandpa and Joseph (the very cute dog) makes a wonderful family. The all-too-tough but soft-at-heart grandpa only made the cartoon more enjoyable. When his grand-daughter was jumping, laughing and playing around... He will take the role of a silent spectator. He would make her toys out of wood.

Then there was Peter, a shepherd boy... Heidi's best friend. He played with her. He took her to beautiful places. He taught her wonderful games. He always made sure she was happy. He was her best mate

After watching this cartoon, one can't help wishing for the peaceful happy life...

The sacred institution

2009-10-23T09:34:00.000-07:00

I am a girl from Tamin Nadu, who respects her culture and tradition. It tells everyone where I come from and where I belong! It has given me an identity.

I respect the institution of marriage... I adore the 'thali' which married women of my community wear. All said... I totally hate the way marriage takes place in the society I belong to.

The most common reasons for marriage from the point of view of the girl's family...

An unmarried girl is a burden.
In future, the prices of goods and services will increase. So its better to get the girl married as soon as possible.
Girls who are elder to her in the family have got married. So the girl next on the line has to get married as soon as possible.
They have come across a very good alliance for the girl, so why wait? Get her married...
As the girl gets older and stays unmarried... The society will start talking about whether she has any problems. So its better to get a girl married as early as possible.

So on and so forth...

If this situation existed fifty years back.. Then I would understand. But we are in 2009... revolutions are taking place from making a pin to a plane. Still why are we stuck to the age old theory of marriage! A girl is achieving so much in life. Most girls are economically independant today. They think for themselves... But when it comes to marriage, the family follows the same old tradition. There are few families who let their girl decide about her marriage. I am not talking about them. I am talking about the majority of them... The happiness of the girl, her goals, her expectations, her views, her thoughts... goes down the drain in the name of marriage.

Not so many interesting reasons for marriage from the point of view of the guy's family. When they decide its time to get the guy married, they go ahead with the marriage plans. But the way a guy's family search for a girl has a lot of interesting, funny and disgusting aspects to it...

So here it goes... The process of a typical bride-search.

The guy is sent to every good studio in the city. It is like a competition amongst the photographers... The challenge is to make the guy look as well-built and as handsome as possible. Even though those words cannot be associated with that guy. With the help of plastic-surgery-softwares, the photographers will some how manage to achieve the challenge...
This photo will be sent to every broker. There are difference agency for different castes... The guy will be registered with every agency available for his caste.
The guy's parents will list down their expectations for their daughter-in-law... Fair, well-educated, salaried girl... From a good family.
The agency will send photographs of many girls who fulfill their expectations... Seeing the way and the reasons for which the guy's parents reject every girl, any human being with sense will want to strangle them.
Few reasons why they will reject the alliance... The girl is not fair (you can not differentiate the colour of the guy to the colour of a crow). The girl is not suitable (the girl might be more educated than the guy). The girl's family doesn't seem to be suitable (the girl's father might have passed away. Girl without dad = less dowry).
They will not bother if the girl is fat, dark, short, less educated... In case the dowry is few hundreds of sawarans of gold, a house and few acres of land, a car (preferably Ford Ikon) and few lakhs in a bank deposit. All this only for the security of the girl... F them all and their reasons.

And they call this a sacred institution after spoiling its meaning left, right and center. Such hypocrites!

I know a rich guy who wanted to marry a physically challenged girl... He found one and they make a beautiful family now. Like always, there are exceptions for everything good and bad.

My feel good factors...

2009-10-22T14:25:00.000-07:00

First and the most important one..

Second but equally imporant one... I am a slave to yummy food. :)

Rain... I love it because you can witness it only rarely in Chennai.

Unconditional love

Every girl's feel good factor

Novels and movies with a happy-ending..

My scooty and me... The best duo!

XY Chromosomes...

2009-10-22T08:50:00.000-07:00

Life will be boring, monotonous and meaningless without men.

Men… As a father, brother, friend, companion or spouse… They play their part well. Women’s tears will not be her biggest weapon, if not for them.

They have played a major role in my life just like in every other girl’s life…

My dad taught me how to be independent and brave. He wanted the best for me in life. He made sure I got it. His knowledge is vast… You can ask him about anything under the sun. He will know at least little about it, if not everything. I have always been proud of my dad… Even with his flaws, he is still the best dad. After my dad, the important men in my life are my grandpa and uncles. They are family… They stood by me and gave me all the love in the world.

Apart from my family, mostly my life has been occupied with only young men … Better known as boys! :)

I get bloody bored if they disappear from my life even for a short while.

They feed my ego… By being the first to talk after a huge fight. I totally love it! :P

I have not seen such great sense of humor with many girls… Guys rock when it comes to that. There is a colleague of mine… OMG… I will try hard not to roll on the floor and laugh for all his jokes!

They annoy me and frustrate me... But without those strong emotions, a human being could be called living-dead. So they help me live.

They make me want to dress up well.

They love to act as the big-brother and take care of everything... I love it. Sometimes its good to indulge yourself by depending upon someone...

Actually it is very hard to tell the difference I feel about my life with guys and the same without them.

May be I will try to show you…

My life with guys...

My life without guys...

- PR

Till death do us apart...

2009-10-21T14:19:00.000-07:00

The first time I saw you - I realized the purpose of my life.

I went down on my knee... To hear you say..."Yes. I will".

When you walked down the aisle... My heart skipped a beat.

I understood what happiness is... when you said... "I do"

You made me a father... You gave me a family.

Of all the riches life can ever give,

you are the only one I love and cherish

My guardian angel, you are my life.

I will hold you tight... Till death do us apart.

Man in the Brown Suit

2009-10-21T08:58:00.000-07:00

I was crazy about this book... I still am.

"I suppose I shall have to tell you," I sadi slowly "I'm not ashamed of it. You cant be ashamed of something that just - happens to you. Thats what he did. He was detestable - rude and ungrateful - but that I think I understand. It's like a dog that's been chained up - or badly treated - it'll bite anybody. That's what he was like - bitter and snarling. I don't know why I care - but I do. I care horribly. Just seeing him has turned my whole life upside-down. I love him. I want him. I'll walk all over Africa barefoot till I find him, and I'll make him care for me. I'd die for him. I'd work for him, slave for him, even beg or borrow for him! There - now you know!"

Reading this book was a pure pleasure... :)

Girl's guide for being the perfect girlfriend..

2009-10-21T07:17:00.000-07:00

Girls can never survive without guys. As a father, as a brother, as a lover, as a husband, as a son... without them, life is just impossible. They are very protective. They live, think, plan and do everything for us. They protect us, they guide us, they teach us and make us learn, they listen to our problems, they give solutions, they share the joys and sorrows, they share their lives with us... They make our lives so easy. A girl who does not understand this can never lead a happy life....

Guys are so sweet, but why are girls still not happy.....?

Girls, do you want to be in the happily-ever-after, long-lasting, love-smitten, ever-loyal-n-trustable relationship? Do you want to be THAT sweetest, cutest, darling girlfriend to your guy? If yes, then here are the things that you OUGHT to know...

Your guy....

protects you...
He gets bloody pissed-off when you get back home after 6 pm, even when your parents trust you and let you be on your own... (NO!!!! this does not apply when you go out with him)
He gets overly critical when you make new friends... (well... only if those friends are guys)

guides you...
He always tells you what is wrong and what is right... (certainly NOT from your point of view)
He will TELL you what you could do in future... (could=must)

teaches you n makes you learn...
He appreciates your doubts... (only if he is able to clear it.. else your doubts are stupid)
Everybody learn from their mistakes. With his help, you will also learn from your mistake ... (never to tell your mistakes to him again)

listens to your problems...
He will always want you to tell your problems to him.. (listening to it is his choice)
He will want you to give a CLEAR picture... (even before you are clear about it yourself)

gives solutions to all your problems...
He always gives THE BEST solution to all the problems... (the solution may or may not solve your problem)
Any problem, he has the solution... (eventhough he has not understood what the problem actually is)
Accept his solution implicitly... (if you don't accept, then the alternative is to be ready for a break-up)

Tip : Even if you don't have a problem, create one. He will be more than happy to solve it for you.

shares the joy and sorrow...
He shares the joy and sorrow of his life... (he happy, you happy. he sad, you sad)

shares his life...
He shares everything about his life with you... ( work, friends, interests, past gfs, latest crush... EVERYTHING.)
Of course you can also share everything about your life with him... (on one condition, HE MUST BE YOUR LIFE)

Hope this will help you.. ;)
If not, there is a life-line... a sure shot solution to your relationship problems...
steps to be followed...

1.Be sure that your bf is the best.

2. If you are doubtful about it, keep repeating this mantra "MY BF IS THE BEST" again and again... till you forget your doubt.

3. If you come across a guy whom you think is better than your bf

relax yourself
wash your face
repeat point no.2

GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR GUY!!!!!

co-written by me and priya ;)

My home :)

2009-10-15T09:03:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I get hyper about wanting to run away to a far off place.. to some land where I have never been to before. This happened too many times and too frequently over the last few days. So my friend asked if I started hating Chennai... NO WAY! what a stupid question... Chennai is home.

Sometimes you wish to go to a friend's place or you would want to hang out somewhere... That doesn't mean you hate home.

I have been to a few other states in India. Everytime I leave Chennai... As much I enjoy the new place, I will yearn to get back.

What does Chennai have?
It has everything I love... The city is neither too fast and crowded like Mumbai. It goes at a normal pace...

Chennai is always hot. I can't bear if its too cold...

The temple I love... Karaneeswarar kovil. The place where I go when I feel happy, sad, peaceful, disturbed...

PONDY BAZAAR!!!! I love the road side shops... Its crowded... Nikee, Addidas, Reebook are some of the brands that are sold here. If the price is 250, you can bargain and reduce it to 100. Its heaven. I can never bargain... But just walking the length of the road watching the shops on either side of the road is a pure pleasure.

Spencer Plaza.. Its not anything like those HUGE shopping malls. It has got three phases with three floors. When I don't wanna spend a penny on dresses, shoes... but want to be well entertained, this is the place I go to. But when I go there, I spend a LOT on eating. I don't eat but I HOG.

Sometimes the place doesn't matter... What matters are the memories those places hold. A lot can happen over a cup of coffee... how true! :) CCD at Ispahani Center is a place very close to my heart. A place which has allowed us to stay for hours together with just a coffee. Devil's Own is my all time favourtie drink.

18K... The bus in which I have travelled frequently. If its capacity is 60 passengers, then it will carry atleast 150 passengers during the peak hours. But I have enjoyed the ride... If not always, atleast most of the time.

East Coast Road... All parents in Chennai are bound to get worried at the mention of it. There is a belief that this place is for people who are not u to any good. That is actually stupid. It is a very beautiful road... It has MGM theme park, VGP, mayajaal, many beautiful resorts... When you think of a long drive, ECR is the place to go.

Central Railway Station.. Its a monument by itself. Its always crowded and busy... I like it. The station has witnessed my joy, anticipation, fear, seperation, sorrow, love, tears...

Marina beach... The beach which will be crowded by families during the night. In case you go to the beach by afternoon, you will be able to see only umbrellas.. A couple under every umbrella.. How they could accomodat themselves under an umbrella? what do they do? what do they talk? how do they withstand the heat? Its a mystery till date...

MY SCHOOL! Alpha... For many years it was my second home. The place were I achieved, got defeated, loved, hated, learnt, discovered, unlearnt.... I am not who I am if not for my school.

My office... WB. The place which makes my mom proud. The place which is teaching me to go for the best in life... always.

Mixed emotions is what I feel when I think of my college. But I can't help liking it for it showed me two great friends and let me spend three wonderful years with them.

There are many more things which Chennai has... Which I can not list with the pictures.

My home

Saidapet streets
Nungambakkam
The Kathipara fly-over which I love...
The temples
The play grounds which are filled with cricket maniacs during the week-end..
The hot-hotter-hottest climate of Chennai
Chromepet ---- the place which holds my good and bad memories..

The places where I have been to with my family and friends... The list will go on and on... I love Chennai. For everything it is...

No matter how many cities I visit in my life, Chennai will always hold a special place in my heart...

-PR

"Now & Forever"

2009-10-14T08:45:00.000-07:00

A relationship I treasure for as long as I can remember... I have known her throughout my life. Known to the world as my cousin... Better described as my best friend. Jais Sakthi. A rare name... She keeps cribbing about it but I like it.

We have witnessed each others baby-phase, childhood, adolescence... A life of 20 years.

Today, I am a girl without any secrets and I blame it on her.

We are what you call poles apart. What she likes, I wont. What I love, she wont even understand why I love it. But there has hardly been any misunderstanding between us. God knows how...

Whenever we get together, we will be under constant vigilance by our family. They will swear to God that we are upto no good. Well... Can't blame them entirely for it... Coz we started talking about good looking guys when we were in 1st standard. And we knew what happened after Adam had the forbidden apple... when we were in 7th standard. When I say 'what happened', I mean the entire process.

Childhood... Kids are considered innocent. We never let anyone associate that word with us... NEVER! We let other kids play with us, on one condidtion that we take the two important roles in any game. Such mean girls we were...

She has turned my gloomy days into happy ones. She has cried with me and for me. She has stood by me throughtout... She has been my partner in crime. She scolds me whenever I order 'Devil's Own' at CCD. She has stayed awake through many nights, listening to my stupid tales. She has been the only person with whom I have shared my girly-giggles. When she goes on a tour, she buys me stuff. She has tortured me for more than five hours in the name oh applying mehandhi which I tolerated only coz her designs are the world's best ones. She rejoiced when I got my job at WB. She accepts me with all my flaws...

I respect life for it gave me the world's most wonderful relationship. Hope we remain best of friends... Now & Forever.

- PR

A wish upon a shooting star...

2009-10-13T12:51:00.000-07:00

WTF!!!

That was precisely my reaction when my mom spoke about getting me married. I am just 20 (atleast until december 3, 2009). I have just started working. I have just started my life. I need to spend some time for myself. All these were the reasons i used to justify that my mom did not make any sense.

But the real reason for my fear was... what if I don't get a guy who will make my fantasies come true?

My fantasies? Yeah. Every girl has her dose of it. Mine is a never-ending list... Coz my fantasies started when I started learning how to write my name. :)

Here it goes... Everything I wish upon a shooting star.

>>I wish he wakes me up in the middle of a night and calls me for a ride on his bike.
>>Just when I feel that he doesn't spend enough time with me, he should take me on a surprise holiday. And spend atleast a week telling me how much he loves me.
>>I want gifts from him. Not diamonds, rubies and emeralds. But teddy bears, dolls, dresses, flowers (lots of it), cosmetics, pets, books... When I ask why he bought me the gift... I would prefer 'Felt like it..' to be the answer. :)
>>When I cry, I wish that he holds me in silence.
>>I will not want to go to bed without him kissing me good night!
>>I wish that he never gives up on me.
>>I wish he fills our home with pictures of us.
>>I wish he learns about the things which I like and those which I dont.
>>I wish he will never be too tired to hold hands and go for a walk.
>>I wish he plays silly games with me when I feel bored.
>>I wish he never forgets the things I tell him.
>>I wish he tucks me into bed when he feels that I have tired out myself..
>>In case he loves me with everything he has... Then I will compromise on all my wishes. His love is enough for me even if all my wishes go unfulfilled.

-PR

Happiest Discovery!

2009-10-09T12:46:00.000-07:00

Diwali is almost here... If it had been a few years back, I would have been bursting auto bombs, lakshmi vedi, kuruvi vedi... Doing stunts with bijilis... I would look like I painted myself silver. That was around 8 years ago... My aunt used to tell me that when I become a big girl, I would lose interest in bursting crackers. I used to tell her that was never going to happen... I used to think that being a girl and bursting all those bombs was 'COOL' :)

In the recent years, I have stopped bursting crackers. I started enjoying the view from the terrace during the diwali nights. I do not like those bombs any more... One day suddenly my aunt's words hit me. I AM A BIG GIRL NOW...

-PR

LIFE...

2009-10-09T09:58:00.000-07:00

A friend called me 'naive'.. I thought it meant innocent. I agreed with her.

But after knowing the in depth meaning of the word...

'too willing to believe that someone is telling the truth, that people's intentions in general are good, or that life is simple and fair'

Now, do I agree with her?
Unfortunately, I do. I am naive. I usually assume that everyone means good to others. My most famous statement is 'Life is simple.. never complicate it...'. Now when I come to think of it, I feel it was an arrogant statement. Being in India, the statement seemed more arrogant. People are struggling for one meal a day. Children are malnutritioned. The hunger death is widely prevalent. Every victory is hard earned. I am not naive anymore... having realized how cruel life could be.

-PR

My friend's words about me

2009-10-09T09:38:00.001-07:00

One of my best friend recently updated her blog with a post about all her freinds...

...This is what she had to say about me...

ha ha ha ha! Ok d.. no tension. Pavi is one unique friend of mine. When I was hating college for what it is, I found this girl and since then life has never been the same for me. For one reason, I realized that I was sane after all cause this girl is THE LIMIT for every thing there is in the world. She is one monkey (honestly d so much happiness while telling this). She is happy with what ever she has and she sees the world wearing these pink glasses and guess what, she manages to survive wearing those glasses without hurting others or herself. Talk to her for five minutes and you will be rolling on the floor laughing. Until then you would never even have considered such a funny side to a spsdly very serious issue. Do u get an image of a clown in your mind? Well u r not even close to imagining pavi. There is this strange thing between us. We can relate to each other better than any two ppl in the world simply because we are equally insane when it comes to “life”. We have many things in common-independent, highly distracted, take big serious things in our stride and break down for smaller things of life and I can go on. One of the many amazing things bet us is that what ever happens in life, it seem to happen to both of us at the same time. Its just too much that even our moms are similar!! I have learnt a lot of things from you d.. like appreciating the good in everybody, looking at the lighter side of things however grave they may seem, to live today, to act on impulse and most importantly you showed me that being a monkey can after all be fun!! Bundle of laughs and smiles!!
I owe a lot to you for everything d. You have made me a better person er perhaps monkey!! :p

Here I am

2009-10-09T08:39:00.000-07:00

....To pour all my thoughts...